When I come back to myself, my jaws are sore and my canines are sunk into the soft flesh of a pillow, my vision swimming as I whip my head back and forth. The pain spikes again and I growl, curling in on myself. The pillow is still between my teeth and I can’t figure out when I bit it, why I thought that tearing something apart would make me feel better. I’m acting so much like a feral animal that it almost scares me, but when I can finally focus enough to let go, I just start laughing. The sight of my tooth marks in the heather blue of my pillow case is ridiculous. The pain spikes one last time and I bite my wrist instead, as if adding more damage will make it all seem less serious.
I share my body with a beast that wants to kill me. The beast lurks among the organs in my body and tears at the weak lining of my stomach. The beast makes sure that I have never felt in control of my own body. It feels silly that I’ve never made the connection to werewolves before I tried to eat my pillow under the full moon.
My friends say that I should take my medication more. I pour nightshade powder into my juice and shake the bottle. When I drink it, I just feel worse. My mom says that I should go back to my specialist. I pour nightshade powder into my juice and shake the bottle. When I drink it, I just feel worse. My specialist says that I should take my medication more. I pour nightshade powder into my juice and shake the bottle. When I drink it, I just feel worse. I remind myself that it’s making things better. Maybe you sweat out chronic illness like a fever.
Do werewolves keep looking for a cure, after so many nights under the moon? Do they get tired of trying to feel better? When does a man stop caring that they share their body with a wolf? Eventually you have to learn with it, or else you get shot in the woods for doing something horrible. I haven’t snapped from the pain yet. My mouth isn’t full of blood.
I bitterly writhe in bed as the beast tries to claw its way out of my body for the third time in an hour, and I remind myself that my mouth isn’t full of blood. I will have a good functional week if I drink more of my nightshade potion. The moon will wane again if I make it through one more night without killing something.